My Favorite Funny Quotes
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
-- Robin Williams
Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
-- George W. Bush
I can't believe this guy was our president, freaking hilarious! This is just one amongst many dumb things this guy has said, though this is my favorite George W. funny quotes.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
-- Bill Cosby
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
-- Yogi Berra
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
-- Homer Simpson
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
-- Woody Allen
I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.
-- Bob Hope
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
-- P. J. O'Rourke
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-- Robin Williams
Ok, here's some more funny quotes by none other than George W.
Funny Quotes-George W. Bush
I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft.
-- George W. Bush
Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.
-- George W. Bush
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
-- George W. Bush
You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." —to a divorced mother of three
-- George W. Bush
Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?
-- George W. Bush
They misunderestimated me.
-- George W. Bush
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
-- George W. Bush
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
-- George W. Bush
One of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people's money to help prevent there to be a crisis.
-- George W. Bush
I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best.
-- George W. Bush
This guy blows my mind...seriously, how the hell does he tie his shoes?...and what does that say about our country-we voted this guy in! (well I didn't but...)
Ok, I saved some of the best for last. These aren't really 'funny quotes' per-se, but lines from several movies featuring my favorite actor-Will Ferrell!
Funny Quotes-Will Ferrell
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!
-- Will Ferrell as Brennan Huff in Step Brothers
I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the $#!& out of you!
-- Will Ferrell as Brennan Huff in Step Brothers
Holy Santa Claus $#!&!
Will Ferrell as Brennan Huff in Step Brothers
I swear to God, I think I just had a heart attack in my butthole.
-- Will Ferrell
This wedding is horse $#!&!
-- Will Ferrell as Brennan Huff in Step Brothers
You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!
-- Will Ferrell as Brennan Huff in Step Brothers
I see you still look like a fifteen year old girl but not hot.
-- Will Ferrell as Chazz Michael Michaels in Blades of Glory
Hey, Nancy Kerrigan. You an official here? Cuz you have officially given me a boner.
-- Will Ferrell as Chazz Michael Michaels in Blades of Glory
Captain Kirk's nipples!
-- Will Ferrell as Dr. Rick Marshall in Land of the Lost
I'll get inside your face!
-- Will Ferrell as Chazz Michael Michaels in Blades of Glory
I'm a $@$ addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease, with doctors and medicine and everything.
-- Will Ferrell
Mind bottling, isn't it?
-- Will Ferrell as Chazz Michael Michaels in Blades of Glory
I hope you enjoy these funny quotes as much as I do! Don't forget to laugh...it's good for ya!
